mom and dad
I hate everyone. I resent one of my “best” friends, my boyfriend is so needy and I just want to tell everyone to fuck off.
I’m sick of people demanding so much from me. Goddamit, I am not going to change for you. EVER.
I’m so sick of walking on eggshells around people. I want to act how I am without worrying about other people.
I’m changing and I can feel it. I’m becoming more of a “every man for himself” kind of person. Because in the end, you die alone. You really only have yourself.
I was drunk and so was boyf.
it wasn’t anything to write home about.
But now that I’ve lost my v card, I’m looking forward to some outrageous sexual encounters ;D
but I have a boyf. So that’s not currently possible.
my boyfriend is coming to visit me for the weekend :))
He’ll be here tomorrow evening.
My boyfriend is visiting me.
He will be here tomorrow evening.
Look who’s finally going to lose her V Card
…and you thought it would never happen ;P
I’m excited and a little nervous, but I think I’m ready for it all :B
So this past week the boyfriend and I were having our first fight. It was tres annoying. I just needed some space and time to think.
After a week, we finally talked and got back on the same page. Long distance relationships are hard. And if you don’t vocalize what’s bothering you, it just gets worse.
So anywaaaays, we worked it out and we’re back to being us :) He’s going to visit me in 2 and a half weeks and I can’t wait to see him ;)
But then yesterday, one of my friends (we used to hang out a lot and be super good friends, but recently we aren’t) sent me this ridic long text message because she was all mad that I don’t invite her out with us. But I used to. A lot. And she always said no. So after a while I got sick of asking her and no longer extend the invite. And now she’s all butt hurt about it. Like seriously. She just wants to be invited. She just wants us to beg her so she can feel important and wanted. And I’m so fucking over that.
We were supposed to go somewhere this weekend but she cancelled. She said that I “manipulated” her into going and she thought that i would hold it against her if she said no.
What the actual fuck. Is this girl barking? I don’t know where she’s getting this from. But it’s driving me bonkers.
She says I’m making this friendship hard and that she always has to put in the extra effort.
That’s exactly how I felt last year. So now she knows how I felt and she doesn’t like it.
She’s right to some extent. Maybe I am making this friendship hard, but I’m not exactly trying to be her friend, ya know? She’s just really difficult to be friends with sometimes. I never know what she’s thinking or what she wants. And honestly, I don’t want to be friends like we used to be. I don’t want to watch what I say because she’s looking for a “hidden insult.” I fuck around with my friends. That’s just how I am. And I’m not going to change. I am me and I love it.
hey im d-ifferentworld so now we know eachother, id like to invite you to my depressing black and white blog. have a nice day, smile once in awhile
So, back to being depressed. :l
This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I’m just so homesick. I want to go back home, but not to my house.
Everyone hates me there.
I just want a home.
A place I feel comfortable.
And it’s not in Arcata and it’s not in LA.
So I lost three friends within a day of being here. Melissa the little ass she is betrayed my trust and I am so upset about it.
Lillian is being Lillian. So I don’t even really spend much time with her. But maybe that’a a good thing. We really shouldn’t feed each other’s mental health issues.
I’ve taken to spending a lot of time with Rachel. Mostly because she will hang out with me. And she’s alright most of the time.
I miss my boyfriend :/
I have relly come to appreciate him as of late. I’m lucky he treats me so nicely. And he’s not one of the asshole in my life. I hate them all.
I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It started off with the boyfriend and I going to a allegedly haunted place called Blackstar Canyon. We parked by the end of the road because it was closed. We squeezed through the gate and walked down this dirt road. I tried not to think about the supposed spirits because I didn’t want to psych myself out. I felt very at ease and didn’t really sense anything paranormal.
The first 1/4 mile was just pleasant and nothing eerie. We kept walking down the road. It was extremely calm and quiet and I felt comfortable. After a while, things started to feel a little off. About 1/2 mile in, I heard a noise while we were walking. I stopped. I didn’t hear anything so I kept walking. I heard it again. I stopped again. I asked my boyfriend if he heard anything and he said no. I stood there for a few moments and heard a low growl. I was puzzled, not frightened. I feared it to be a mountain lion of some other wild creature, but I did not hear it move. I heard the growl two more times and promptly kept walking. It as weird because it didn’t sound like an animal. It was rather low and a little disembodied.
We continued walking and things got more eerie. My boyfriend stops and looks down over the edge, it’s not very deep but it is closed to the public. As we stand there, I heard branches snapping below us. Like someone was walking around. But I didn’t see anyone. And no one was supposed to be down there. I mean, sure, someone could break the rules, but again, I didn’t see or hear (other than the branches) any one.
It was weird so we kept walking. about 3/4 of a mile in we see a tree with a big hole in it. My boyfriend walks up to it and finds that is it filled with rocks. He moves one. As soon as he does that, there is a big gust of wind. So we scurry along and keep moving.
Finally we are about a mile in and we come to this tree that arches over this dirt road. It just looks soooo creepy and I get a sinking feeling. I did not want to continue. I just felt this weird presence. Like something didn’t want us there anymore. It was so creepy.
We turned around and started walking back. I just felt like something was behind us. I didn’t feel it following us or anything, but I definitely felt a presence by the tree.
As we walk back to the car and get farther away from the tree, I start to relax. As we are walking, my boyfriend suddenly stops. I ask him why he stopped. he said, “Did you hear that?” I said, “Hear what?” He looks at me and says he tell me in the car. I notice that is was around the same place I had stopped earlier.
We finally make it back to the car in one piece. I asked him what he heard. He said he heard growling. It was weird. We had switched sides while we were walking back. So he was the closest to the brush when he heard the growling and I didn’t. And vice versa for me. It was so odd.
To Be Continued…I’m so tired!
Page 1 of 3